reflections
April 6th, 2011 poetry
Pain is always written across my face
I hang my head low thinking what a disgrace
The fears are coming from all the damage you caused
Shall we all just give you a round of applause
I’ve watched you rape me even when i close my eyes
Now the only thing left to do is run and hide
You stole my very soul without my consent
Just tell me why this is the way it went
All I wanted was for you to get off of me
But you daddy wouldnt just let me be
You spit in my face then ripped my shirt
Then you pushed it in to the point where it hurt
I remember it like it was yesterday
Will I ever forget about this and be okay
The thoughts are brutal all I can do is dry my eyes
Sometimes I think why didnt I just die
The demonic man could only tell me lies
All he cared about was being satisfied
I feel dirty disgusted tainted but mostly I feel used
I’ll always know that I’m a victim of his sadistic abuse
 
 
 
The pain is so deep
i cant eat or sleep
hearing voices in my mind
confusing me with thoughts
and memories not so kind
Shaking in utter fear
i cant even shed one single tear
So dead and empty inside
feels like going down a steep slide
Without my daughter i wouldnt be here
feelings of no control giving me fear
So cold and little strength to fight
I pray to god please for her sake
let me make it thru one more night
 
 
Mirror Mirror on the wall
Why is it lately I feel so small
Like a spot of dust on a dirty floor
Like a filthy little whore
Mirror Mirror on the wall
Think back cant you recall
How he uncovered what was hidden
And stole what was forbidden
Mirror Mirror on the wall
Why did you do nothing at all
To tell them what you saw was true
It was always there you always knew
Mirror Mirror on the wall
How far down must i really fall
Covered in armor from head to feet
To make sure no one gets close to me
Mirror Mirror on the wall
Before I walk why must I crawl
Help me know where to begin
Just let me escape this pain that i live in
Mirror Mirror on the wall
Cant you hear my beckoning call
Unable to shed these silent tears
Quieted for so many years
 
The man with the dirty hands hurt me in ways you wouldnt understand my body he ripped apart inside in that moment i knew i had died he said your body i do want to crawl be inside you and feel it all i always thought of him as my friend but what he did brought all that to an end i cant even bare to look at his face or those dirty hands of utter disgrace he goes to church and amens at the pew being a hypocrit to him is not new because of him i lost my soul damage is done and taking its toll damned to hell cursed to flames that nasty man just wants to play games oh god of heaven i hate him so what he did brought me so low the man with the dirty hands hurt im ways noone else can he cost me dignity and brought death to my life now im left with nothing but pain and strife

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